Top five excuses used in school

1. "I missed class because I was sick."
-Yeah, and you just happened to be sick during the hour and fifteen minutes that you were supposed to be in class giving a presentation.

2. "I couldn't do my homework because my computer wasn't working."
-Okay, then who logged onto your facebook account and posted a status update that you were watching Ferris Bueller's Day Off tonight with friends after happy hour at Katie O'Byrnes.

3. I'm late to class because I got a flat tire.
-Getting a flat two months ago doesn't really excuse your lateness today.

4. I missed class because I sneezed twice in a row and thought I might be sick, and since you have it posted everywhere to stay home if you're feeling ill, I thought I should not go to class.
-You need to read over the signs and symptoms for H1N1 again.

5. I am late to class because of the elevators.
- Now that an excuse I'd believe!